It’s been a very long time since I did a Hit List post (more than 2 years).

Basically, Hit List is when I dig into the blog’s stats and hit log to see what types of searches are bringing people to my blog.  These are situations when someone goes on Google (or whatever search engine suits you) and types in something like “al harrington’s wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men” and end up looking at my blog.  Incidentally, my blog is result #1 for that search, out of about 1.2 million results.  Go figure, huh?

The Hit List serves two purposes.  It’s a good way to summarize what people come here looking for.  It’s also a way to share with regular readers what random readers are looking at.  It’s highly interesting.  Oh, and it’s a good way for me to continue to bring people to the blog, exposing them to my writing as well as potential ads that they might click on, which may someday pay me a few bucks for all the work I put into this site.  That’s more than two things, I know.  But it’s AT LEAST two things, right?  Don’t mess with a man on Oxycodone.

For the record, our average total hits per month this year is 35,853 hits a month.  I wish that were the best ever - we averaged about 60,000 hits a month in 2008, when I blogged EACH AND EVERY DAY of the year.  I wonder what I’d be seeing in 2010 if I still blogged each day.

So let’s take a look at what search criteria people are using to find me:

- scientology and mormonism: This usually only brings up one particular entry, because I’ve only compared the two religions once.  But apparently many people are looking for information comparing the two.  Sorry, I write my opinion on them, instead.

- nudist neighbors or naked neighbors: The neighbors behind me regularly take their clothes off to get in the hot tub.  Well, really it’s the dad an his three sons.  The mother doesn’t do it quite as much.  But the kids apparently are ok with being in the buff in front of their mom… even though they’re 10 through 18.

- letter to my daughter: this is, by far, one of my biggest hits.  There are several variations on this search criteria.  I’ve written letters to my daughter a handful of time, and a few times to my son.  I occasionally write letters to other people and organizations.  I’ve had to add a “Letters” category to my subjects.  I need to write letters more often.

- hands monkey: on the surface, this might seem like the most ridiculous search criteria.  For a long time, the musak-type music played at work as included a song called “Monkey” by Two Loons for Tea.  The song is very peculiar.  And until you look it up, you’re not quite sure what the lyrics say.  So I posted them once.  Now, I’m the top result out of 6.2 million on Google for someone looking for the lyrics.

- swamp cooler: I’m the seventh result for “swamp cooler lowes.”  I see many different combinations of this search, but it’s always about “swamp cooler.”  I’ve talked about swamp coolers on many occasions.  We removed a swamp cooler (or evaporative cooler - an AC-like device that pumps cool air into a house.  It only works in the desert.  They’re nasty things, trust me.) on the old house.  I have one now on my new house, but sometime in the next five years when I consider reroofing the house, I’ll take it out.  It’s not even hooked up, but if it were, I doubt I’d use it.  The thing is a magnet for mold.  I used to get very sick at the old house, until we removed it, and then I rarely got sick.  If you have one and have a lot of colds, mysterious illnesses, random viral infections, or worse, I’d consider replacing it with a true AC system.  Oh, and these posts pull in the most SPAM comments, which I hate about as much as I dislike swamp coolers.

- foster grant sunglasses grand prix: I wear sunglasses.  A lot.  And I’ve worn a lot of sunglasses in the last twenty years, especially once I went to contacts in my teens.  I’m sensitive to the sun.  I squint in low light.  Plus I prefer how I look in them.  I’d wear them all night, too, Gene Simmons or Dog Chapman style, if I could.  I’ve blogged a few times about my sunglasses.  But one time, I blogged about the frustration of not finding the right pair.  I usually end up with Foster Grant brand sunglasses, mostly because I’d never do well with $100 or higher pairs.  I scratch them within an hour of buying them.  I bend them.  I break them.  I lose them.  I use them to the point of abuse.  Good sunglasses wouldn’t last long.  Plus, most seem too small for my overly large head.  Most “one size fits all” sunglasses don’t fit me at all, and it’s obvious.  So, when I found the Foster Grant Grand Prix model at Walmart, I bought a couple.  Later, when I needed more, they were gone.  I’ve looked for them for a year or more now, never finding anything that suits me, only near-hits.  I can buy them from the manufacturer in lots, so please click on my site’s ads so I can make enough to buy some for the rest of the year.  Thanks.

- house of my dreams: I expect people finding my blog through this search are a little surprised of it’s content.  I’m not necessarily talking about the “house of my dreams,” but the “house in my dreams.”  I have a house that I dream about on a regular basis.  It’s full of secret rooms and passages.  It’s hiding a lot of secrets.  I’ve come and gone, and the house is usually the same.  Maybe someday I’ll be able to build it, like most people are probably looking for when they come to the blog, but for now the house will have to exist within my own mind.

There are many more phrases and words that bring people to my blog, but these are some of the more common, or more interesting.  To those coming for these phrases and words, thanks for visiting.  For regular readers, thanks for being regular.

No, really.

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